Dating During a Divorce in Illinois

Dating is not a ground for divorce in Illinois

Dating cannot be the legal reason for a divorce in Illinois, because the only ground is that irreconcilable differences have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage (750 ILCS 5/401(a)). Neither spouse has to prove fault, and dating by either spouse is not a ground the court decides.

The same idea runs through the money issues. The court divides marital property "without regard to marital misconduct" (750 ILCS 5/503(d)) and decides maintenance "without regard to marital misconduct" (750 ILCS 5/504(a)). A new relationship is not a reason, by itself, to award your spouse more property or more support.

For more on the ground for divorce and how adultery is treated, read whether Illinois is a no-fault divorce state.

Dating while divorcing is a personal decision, but it can still affect your case in other ways, and it can raise the emotional temperature of a divorce that might otherwise settle. Separation also matters: if you and your spouse live separate and apart for at least six continuous months before the judgment, irreconcilable differences are irrebuttably presumed (401(a-5)). The sections below cover three places where a new relationship can come up.

Spending marital money on a new partner

Spending marital money on a new partner while the marriage is breaking down can be raised as dissipation, which the court weighs when it divides property. One of the property division factors is "the dissipation by each party of the marital property" (503(d)(2)).

Dinners, trips, gifts, rent or other support for a new partner paid from marital accounts or marital credit can all become part of a dissipation claim. The claim has strict rules. The spouse raising it must give a notice of intent no later than 60 days before trial or 30 days after discovery closes, whichever is later. The notice must state, at a minimum, when the marriage began undergoing an irretrievable breakdown, what property was dissipated, and when the dissipation happened (503(d)(2)(i), (ii)). The statute also limits how far back a claim can reach (503(d)(2)(iv)).

To protect yourself:

• Do not use joint accounts, joint cards or savings for dates, gifts or a partner's expenses. Income either spouse earns before the judgment is generally presumed to be marital property too (503(b)(1)).
• Keep receipts and statements that show where the money came from.
• Do not give a new partner access to marital accounts, vehicles or property.
• Expect to explain large or unusual spending on your financial affidavit.

Read more about dissipation of marital assets in an Illinois divorce.

Dating and parenting time

A new relationship by itself is not a reason to limit your parenting time. In allocating parenting time, the court does not consider a parent's conduct that does not affect that parent's relationship to the child (750 ILCS 5/602.7(c)), and the same rule applies to significant decision-making responsibilities (750 ILCS 5/602.5(e)).

A new partner can matter when that person affects the child. Among the best-interest factors, the court considers the child's interaction and interrelationship with the parents, siblings "and with any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interests" (602.7(b)(5)). It also considers whether a parent lives with a convicted sex offender (602.7(b)(15)), and any physical violence, threats or abuse against the child or another household member (602.7(b)(11), (14)).

In serious cases, the court can go further. After a hearing, if it finds by a preponderance of the evidence that a parent's conduct seriously endangered the child, it can enter protective orders, including an order restricting the presence of specific persons while that parent exercises parenting time (750 ILCS 5/603.10(a)(6)). For how parenting time is allocated, read allocation of parental responsibilities in Illinois.

Dating, living together and maintenance

Dating by itself is not one of the events that ends maintenance, but a relationship that becomes cohabitation on a resident, continuing conjugal basis can end it. The obligation to pay future maintenance ends on the death of either party, the remarriage of the person receiving maintenance, or that person's cohabitation "with another person on a resident, continuing conjugal basis" (750 ILCS 5/510(c)). That rule applies unless the parties agreed otherwise in a written agreement set forth in the judgment or otherwise approved by the court.

The consequences can be large. The obligation ends by operation of law on the date the recipient remarries or the date the court finds cohabitation began, and the paying spouse is entitled to reimbursement for all maintenance paid from that date forward (510(c)). A recipient must also tell the paying spouse of an intent to marry at least 30 days before the remarriage, or within 72 hours after marrying if the decision is made within that period.

Section 510 does not define "resident, continuing conjugal basis," so whether a relationship meets that standard depends on the facts. If you receive maintenance, or expect to, talk with a lawyer as a relationship becomes serious and before a partner moves in, whether your case is still pending or already over. Our guide to Illinois spousal maintenance explains how maintenance is set.

Introducing a new partner to your children

When to introduce a new partner is a parenting decision, and a good approach is to think about it from your children's point of view first. A divorce is already a big change for children, and a new adult in their lives is another one.

• Read your parenting plan and any temporary order for terms about new partners or overnight guests, and follow them.
• Consider waiting until the relationship is stable before an introduction.
• If you co-parent, consider telling the other parent before the children meet your partner, so the news does not come from the children.
• Keep your partner out of exchanges, school meetings and conversations about the case.
• Never ask your children to keep the relationship secret from the other parent.

If communication with the other parent is difficult, read co-parenting vs parallel parenting in Illinois, and see the common pitfalls in divorce mistakes in Illinois.

Getting help

The firm can review how a new relationship could affect property, parenting or maintenance in your case, and respond if your spouse raises it. Chicago Family Attorneys handles family law only, for clients in Chicago and Cook, DuPage, Lake and Will Counties, from its office in Chicago.

Limited scope help covers drafting from $500 and one hearing appearance from $1,200. Full representation is an initial payment of $1,500 to $2,500, then $500 to $650 per month beginning 30 days after the initial payment while representation remains active. Fees are confirmed in writing before you engage the firm, and no lawyer can promise a particular result.

Consultations are by phone; a free weekend consultation is available by Zoom. Call 312-965-5618, or visit our Chicago divorce attorneys page.